Closet Ninjas
by Koriat Cyredanthem
Summary: Searching for Leo leads the three brothers to Foot Tower, where they plan to wait for Karai to come to them. But Mikey just can't help himself when they find themselves hiding in Karai's gigantic closet. One-shot.
_This is a short and sweet cut from a story I'm currently writing where Leo is captured by the Foot. I wanted to share this (edited for swearing) version because it's so silly._

 **Closet Ninjas**

 _Mike's POV_

I follow Raph onto the roofs and we head for Foot HQ. Usually I'd be cracking jokes but even I know this isn't a good time. Raph'd probably beat me, rescue mission or not, and I'm eager to get to Leo fast. Who _knows_ what those Foot freaks are already doing to him?

Foot HQ is mostly dark; windows shine with light showing your typical New York office. Most are empty but I can see humans moving around inside. There's fake green plants in most of the offices and hallways.

I slip on my climbing claws and we jump across, landing on the concrete between two dark windows. Silently, we climb up – the first half of the building is just regular offices. Things get interesting at the top. We've stormed this building once before, and I don't like coming back.

Raph pauses and motions for Don to climb up next to him and work his magic. I move over so my bro can climb past me; I grin in encouragement when he glances over at me. He smiles a bit in reply and reaches up for his next hold. Once in place, he carefully pulls one hand from the building and fumbles around in his bag.

I look down at the street below us. Leo used to afraid of heights, and he still doesn't like them, but I feel like an eagle or a seagull up here. Humans are walking across the street, tiny ants below me. It's hard to make them out as anything but as colored shapes moving around.

Don hisses at me to climb through the window he's cut open and I quickly join him and Raph inside a plain-looking office. I rub my arms after taking off the claws; they're a little sore. Raph presses his ear hole against the door and opens it slowly, sai out. I take out one nunchuck, leaving one hand free, and follow behind Don into the dark hallway.

Raph leads us up three floors before we find any sign of Foot ninja. Raph knocks out the lone soldier; his costume is too generic to be a leader, so he probably doesn't know where Leo is. I drag his body into an empty room that looks like a military bunk room with eight beds in two rows, one lower and one upper bed, with trunks at the end of each pair. I shove our new friend under one of the beds and poke his foot until it stays out of sight.

"Don?" Raph growls, flipping his sai.

"Three doors ahead is a control room," Don replies quietly, squinting at a tiny screen from his portable thingamajig. Poor dude probably needs glasses or a bigger screen. I get portability but what's the point if you can barely read whatever he's reading?

Raph yanks open said door and charges through; Don and I are in right behind him. There's a couple ninja inside and I tap one on the head with my first nunchuck. He's down and out instantly, of course. Raph takes care of his guy, too. Don closes the door quietly and heads for the computer. He puts on a pair of gloves with thin sticks at the end of each finger, which let him type on the human-sized computer. He made his own mega-sized keyboards long ago.

"They have files on all of us," Don said out loud as he works his magic.

"Does mine say how handsome I am?" I reply, grinning. He shoots me an annoyed look, but the tension in his shoulders eases up a little and I know he appreciates the comment.

Raph, however, doesn't. "Shut up, idiot," he snarls, whapping me upside the head. I rub my head and retreat to the other side of the room, fighting the urge to make another joke.

"Leonardo Hamato, last known sighting was tonight," Don continues. "That's all it says."

"Where'd they see him, Brainiac?" Raph asks in his Batman voice. Or growls, if you prefer that.

"It doesn't say," Don replies in his bland I-just-said-that-didn't-I? tone.

"So now what?" I ask as Raph does his best impression of an angry dog.

"We ask Karai," Raph snarls, as if that's obvious.

"Yeah, let's ask her really politely. I'm sure she'll just hand him back," I quip. Donny taught me that word.

"Mikey, I'm gonna-"

"Cool it, you two," Don Interrupts, tucking the gloves back in his duffle. "Let's just go find Karai."

 _Don's POV_

Raph heads out after checking the hallway and we continue up the staircase. We know from our previous invasion of the Foot Tower that Karai has taken over the Shredder's old rooms on the top floor. It's basically a penthouse with a dojo, fully-equipped gym, lap pool, hot tubs, and other luxuries. And it has a stunning view of New York.

Everyone else in the tower is either out on patrol, sleeping, or otherwise avoiding the stairwell because we don't encounter any resistance on the way up. I had looped the cameras on a ten-minute track before our arrival, as usual, so they can't possibly see us unless they somehow detected it and rebooted the entire system.

Of course, this stairway ends far below the top of the tower. "Can't we take the elevator?" Mikey grumbles good-naturedly as we race through a lit hallway to another stairway that, according to my blueprints, will take us up another dozen floors.

Raph just snarls in reply and I shoot Mikey a look to ask him to stop antagonizing our big brother. Raph's already stressed enough without having Mikey get on his nerves, though I know the lighthearted comments are Mikey's own way of dealing with stress.

It takes two more hallway dashes to finally gain the top floor, which is of course locked behind secured doors, but there hasn't yet been a serious test of my code-cracking self-contained computer. Still, it takes precious seconds to get the cover off, crack the code, and put the cover superficially back so that, at a glance, it looks secure still.

The last door comes before I know it and I settle down to the familiar routine. The door beeps softly and Raph shoves it open, bulldozing into the next room as I gather my supplies and replace the cover again. Mike and I follow.

The room is Karai's "public" office. There's a beautiful mahogany desk with a semi-perpetual motion machine twirling away elegantly. Most of the room is decorated with Japanese rugs and murals, pictures and weapons. The desk is the only nod to modern technology, with a pair of computer monitors to one side and a stereotypical office phone on the other side.

Raph's already moving to the next door and we open it onto the dojo. The lights are off but the walls are filled with training and real weapons. We follow Raph past the swimming pool, the smell of chlorine irritating my nose.

After checking the kitchen and living room – the kitchen looks way too empty to actually be of use, and Mikey didn't find anything edible in the fridge when he checked – we head for the bedroom. It'd be awkward to confront Karai in her bedroom, but we need to find our leader.

She's not in her bedroom or ridiculously huge walk-in closet. One side is dedicated to her Foot attire – black body suits, red accenting wraps, face masks and at least a dozen pairs of soft slippers. The left side holds all of her "public" clothing as face of Saki Industries now that her father is dead; elegant black dresses, silk dress pants and shirts, shimmering sequined purses and scarves, hair pieces and hats. There are even more shoes on a rack here, too – everything from dainty little sandals to high heels.

Mike immediately grabs a bright red hat with small black veil dipping from the front and places it on his head. "Do I look pretty?" he asks me, giggling.

Raph rolls his eyes and knocks the hat from Mike's head. "Can it, shell for brains," the hothead growls. "We'll wait here until she gets back."

I take a seat on the round ottoman sitting between the shoe racks and tap into the tower's security system remotely, keeping an eye for any sign that we've been noticed. Mikey grabs a handful of Karai's scarves and throws them in the air, giggling as they fall around him. Then he zips over to the face masks and pulls one on. The sound of tearing fabric as he forces it over his head is loud in the quiet room.

Raph and I ignore him as he darts from place to place, playing in the clothing and occasionally pretending to dance with a piece he particularly likes. More fabric tears and clothes start littering the floor. Raph's crouched next to the door leading into the bedroom, listening for the foot leader's return.

 _Mikey's POV_

Don says I have ADHD; I think he's just fussy about how energetic I am. Besides, how often do we get to check out a chick's closet? Did I mention that I just happen to love fashion?

I put on my favorite hat, a quiet green boater with dull yellow ribbon around the base. Then I sort through the dresses until I find a beautiful dark blue silk dress with a décolleté neckline and petal sleeves. It's a mini slip dress to show off the wearer's knees and calves and I bet Karai looks _stunning_ in it. I find a dark green chiffon bolero jacket to bring out the green in Karai's eyes. Then I add a blue calot hat that sets off the dress and look over her purses before selecting a small black clutch. Then I add a pair of black heeled boots.

"What are you doing?" Don asks, looking up as I carefully step past Raph into the bedroom.

"Setting out Karai's evening wear," I reply, grinning. I hold up the dress to show him. "I mean, I argued with myself between sweetheart and décolleté but I think she needs some smooth to her. Unless you think the sweetheart might be better?" I bat my eyes at Don and he can't hold back a grin.

"And this bolero will keep her nice and toasty warm," I continue as Raph rolls his eyes really obviously. "Though… I guess she'd need something for her legs. Maybe I should go with the full length silk with plunging neckline. Nah, those bell sleeves will slow her down when she throws things at us." I get Raph snickering as I babble on.

"Raph, this might look nice on you. You totally have the neck to pull off a square line." I hold the dress up against Raph's shell as if to confirm my suspicion. I don't _need_ to, of course; I've always known Raph would look best in square, blocky edges. It accentuates the smooth lines of his muscles.

"Get off," Raph growls, twisting and lunging at me. I squeak and drop the dress.

"But Raph!" I laugh as I scramble behind Donnie. "It's a _compliment!_ "

"Mike…" Don sighs. "Can't you just play in a corner and not antagonize Raph?"

"You're no fun," I pout at Donnie. "So I won't show you _your_ evening wear." I flounce, purposefully swaying my hips, back to the line of pant suits.

"Lord save me," Don mutters, turning back to his computer. I get it, they're both tense and I'm worried about Leo, too. This is my way of dealing with it, and they know it, which is the only reason Raph hasn't pummeled me into the floor, pretty hat or no.

I manage to lose track of time as I pull clothing off their hangars that would just look horrible on Karai. She does _not_ have the neck to pull off a square line; I quickly dump two such dresses, though one is an adorable purple silk piece that just needs a bit of work. She's also not one for drapey or gathered lines, so I dump anything with a cowl and the pair of Cossack collars she has for some inexplicable reason.

"You'd think the leader of the Foot would want to look nice," I growl to myself, caught up in my task.

I notice Don and Raph share a glance and grin a little, despite their worry. I smirk at the shawl with a – shudder – cascade ruffle and throw it behind me, "accidentally" hitting Don with it.

"Who even uses these anymore?" I demand, holding up a pierrot collar next. " _So_ last season." This joins the one on Don's head.

"I'm going to block TLC and end your subscriptions to those fashion magazines if you don't cut it out," Don threatens, knocking both items to the floor. I squeak in fear, though I know he doesn't really mean it.

"Karai's just entered the building," Don alerts us a few minutes later as I examine a loose heel on a right shoe and consider how funny it would be if Karai's heel were to give out on live TV. Raph tenses and flips his sai faster, concentrating on the bedroom.

"I gotta go!" I realize, jumping up and darting into the private bathroom on the other side of the bedroom despite Raph's hissed command to stay put. When a turtle's gotta go, dude…

I make it back to the closet without incident, though Raph glares at me and even Don eyes me unhappily. "Where's Karai?" I ask to distract Don.

"Still in her office with a couple Elites," Don answers without looking at his little computer thingamajig.

We wait patiently – well, they do, and I can't help but wiggling loose every heel on Karai's shoes and putting them oh-so-carefully back. But at least I'm silent about it, despite Raph throwing dirty looks at me every so often.

I hear the door to the bedroom from the living room open and freeze, waiting. Karai walks silently, just like Leo, but Raph can obviously see her through the crack in the closet door. He takes a breath and tenses, muscles bulging, before jumping through the door. I follow Don out, forgetting I still have one of Karai's shoes in my hand.

"What-" Karai barks in surprise as we come out of the closet. (I never thought Raph would do that, tee hee!)

"Karai," Raph says in his Batman voice.

"Ooo, Batman voice," I giggle to Don, who sighs at me. Without looking, Raph flips me off. "Harsh, dude."

"Turtles," Karai hisses, eyes narrowing. She blinks at my hand and I realize I'm holding her shoe; I slowly move it behind my shell. "To what do I owe the… honor… of this visit?"

"Well, I think the most important thing to tell you is to hire a new fashion expert," I chuckle before Raph can stop growling and answer. "'Cause, gurl, your closet ain't pretty."

"Mikey!" Raph snaps, glaring at me.

"Mike, zip it," Don mutters.

I can't help it if Karai's fashion disaster makes me speak up! It's a tragesty! Travedy? Whatever.

"Where's Leo, Karai?" Raph snarls, focusing back on our enemy.

Karai smirks. "It has taken you so long to realize Leonardo is missing?" she asks softly. She shakes her head. "My, my. Some team _you_ are."

"Stuff it, Karai. Where is he?" Raph takes a threatening step forward and Karai eyes him cooly. Her eyes are hazel and would be pretty except for the hatred in them. I kinda wish I could see her in the evening wear I picked out; I'll bet those eyes look warmer with the green popping a little more.

"I would not know, Raphael," Karai replies. She turns, making a show of showing us her back, and quickly pulls off her shirt, revealing a lacy bra beneath.

Well, this just got awkward… Do I look away? Do I keep an eye on her? I compromise by shielding one eye and staring with the other.

I can tell the move catches Don and Raph off guard, too. Don immediately looks down and blushes and Raph even takes a step back.

"I assume you have already discovered Leonardo's equipment. I should think you would thank me to leave you his items, something to remember him by. I _might_ have taken them as trophies." She sits on the bed and pulls off her shoes, tossing them into the closet over my head.

Good ol' Raph goes with his usual backup plan and growls again. Dude's got serious dog genes, I swear.

Getting a _great_ look at Karai's figure, however, makes me rethink the décolleté. Chick's got some serious scarring. She needs a funnel or keyhole, if she's feeling playful, with a choker to hide one wicked line going half-way up her neck. And a push-up bra wouldn't hurt.

 _Focus on the mission, Mikey_ , I remind myself.

Karai raises an eyebrow at our silence. It's so awkward that I can't help but fill it.

"I take it back!" I say quickly. "Don't go with the décolleté; definitely a keyhole! Or a funnel if you're old-fashioned…" Don, Raph, and Karai all stare at me in confusion. "And for the love of God please wear elbow-length sleeves! That Armani empire with jeweled collar would look good. Or the Chanel asymmetric sundress, even if it will make you look a little thick in the hips; just add a-"

Raph palms his face. "Shut up, Mike," he orders, interrupting my rambling and gaining control over the situation with a remarkable lack of growling.

"I'm just saying…" I mutter, eyeing the dress lying on Karai's bed. She looks at it and then at me.

"Did you… Go through my closet?" she asks, frowning.

"Well, yeah," I admit.

"Can we get back to threats and information gathering," Raph asks in a not-question tone.

"Please," Karai replies, still eyeing me weirdly. You'd think she'd thank me for the suggestions!


End file.
